Reducing Anxiety In Young People
Anxiety in children is entirely normal. Kids go through a myriad of happenings in their body, minds and surroundings on a daily basis, so it is no wonder that they can feel sensitive, anxious and worried at times.
While there are a range of causes for anxiety in children, including changes in body, searching for identity, finding their place in the world, learning rights and wrongs, and coping with transitions in their lives, some anxiety can be accelerated by conditions such as General Anxiety Disorder, Asperger’s Syndrome, Autism and other special needs.
Babies and toddlers can become anxious about loud noises, heights, strangers and separation, while pre-schoolers can worry about being on their own or become scared of the dark, primary school-aged children might develop fear of social situations, disappointment, getting in trouble or physical threat, and teenagers can get anxious and stressed about identity, sexuality, schoolwork, friendships and puberty.
While there are many forms and reasons for anxiety, these six tips can help your child overcome certain situations when they feel stressed or worried.
Acknowledge your child’s anxiety
While the anxiety about what your child is experiencing might seem insignificant in your world, these are the big issues in your child’s world. Telling them, ‘It’s nothing to worry about’ can be quite harmful, as it can shame the child and they might avoid telling you their worries in future. They may also develop a belief that they are unable to cope, when with the right tools, they could learn to manage the anxiety. In Anxiety and Phobic Disorders: A Pragmatic Approach, Silverman and Kurtines say the “long term costs of not intervening are high” (Silverman & Kurtines, 1996). Tell your child you are hearing what they are saying and help them map out a plan for dealing with the situation and managing their anxiety.
Model good practices
Adults deal with stresses every day, and while it’s alright to get frustrated, anxious and stressed, children need to see ways of dealing with those emotions so they can work through how they can deal with their own. In John Dewey’s Human Nature and Contact, he says “successful problem solving has the potential for enlarging and enriching human horizons,” (Dewey, 1922). Show your child how you work through your anxieties and reward yourself for overcoming to show your child there is a positive outcome.
Encourage your child to do things they’re anxious about
It’s vitally important you don’t push your child to face situations they don’t want to; however, it is crucial that they learn to persevere. Telling them, ‘don’t give up,’ giving positive reinforcement and giving them a reward when they overcome are great ways to allow them to build their own skills in anxiety management.
Set goals and find safe spaces
Start with the little stuff. Sometimes a child can only see the enormous black cloud forming above them, but with your help, they can see the tiny drops of water that cloud is made up of. Rather than tackling the whole cloud, encourage the child to tackle each droplet at a time. Each time a small problem is resolved, the overwhelming feeling of anxiety gets smaller. Try exercising, yoga, writing or finding a safe space to go when anxiety hits. Discovering these coping mechanisms will help with anxiety in teen and adult years. Life Skills Group has some great programs for children to learn emotional life skills.
Praise the child when they overcome
Everyone needs positive reinforcement, even adults. Positive reinforcement results in changes in brain chemistry, which can affect long-term behaviours positively. By allowing a child to see that overcoming fear and anxiety is a success, it will build their skills in further management of anxiety in future. By offering accolades, like verbal reinforcement, or physical rewards or experiences, children will strive towards overcoming negative feelings. Ensure the reward matches the situation. If they receive an excessive reward for something relatively minor, it could encourage the child to create situations in future. It’s a balance, which you will learn alongside your child.
Avoid labelling your child as ‘anxious’ or ‘suffering anxiety’
Anxiety can be difficult and it can be debilitating, but rather than label a child as anxious or state that they are suffering anxiety, try to use more positive language. Your child is overcoming anxiety, managing anxiety or, in serious cases, living with anxiety (as opposed to suffering, which has negative connotations). Your child should not be anchored by something they didn’t ask for, but which is something they can learn skills to cope with and sometimes avoid.
In Living Stigma: The Impact of Labelling, Stereotyping, Green et al say “labelling involves not only the perception that someone is different, but also the assignment of social import to that difference… [and] can be a source of confusion and social awkwardness that can diminish both the quantity and quality of social interaction” (Green et al, 2005). Life Skills Group offers Mindfulness in Action training that can help your child deal with cognitive behaviours and build life skills for the future.